idelette

She was beaten. Tortured. Raped. Sodomized. Hung from a ceiling. The man she was married to on several occasions tried to manipulate her into committing suicide. He battered her with his words, his fists and whatever object he could find in the heat of a moment. He tried to drown her.

Kamal Dhillon’s new book “Black and Blue Sari” is a glimpse into the darkest hell of abuse and domestic violence. It’s hard to read her story. I can’t even imagine living it.

And yet Kamal is alive to tell the story. She has survived beautifully and courageously. She’s even had the guts to go back into that dark story and write it.

In doing so–in being willing to go back and open the door into the most violent, degrading, humiliating abuse–Kamal allows us into a world that very few of us can imagine. Kamal brings us into her hell, so that we may walk out of there and take a stand against the violence happening in our midst.

Kamal’s body has been broken so many times and in so many places and yet her spirit is strong. She is a fighter and her story is now an important tool in the saving of the lives of many. She truly believes she has survived, so she may now tell this story and change the fate of other women.

Too many still suffer at the hands of their partners. In the past five years 653,000 Canadian women reported being a victim of spousal violence, with 26% of these women being assaulted more than ten times. (See the RAVE website for more resources.)

“We can all help the silent victims by raising our voices against violence,” says Kamal.

Here’s an excerpt from Black and Blue Sari:

“One evening, I was so exhausted from being pushed around, having my hair pulled and my face squeezed that I decided to fight back verbally … I was beaten regardless of whether I spoke or remained silent. So this particular day I decided to get beaten and not feel gulty. I told him what a monster he was. I said he was a lowlife who had no guts to fight with a man his own size but only with a woman half his size. He pushed me so hard into the concrete wall. I felt dizzy for a while but continued hitting back with my words while crying loudly. I told him how much I regretted marrying him and told him that I knew that he and his family had deceived me. They had portrayed themselves to everyone to be something that they were not.
While I was lying on the floor recovering from the beathing, Raj began to kick me continuously. By now, Hannah and Tony had run into the bedroom and shut the door. Those poor children did not deserve that kind of father. I wanted to tell them to run and call the police from the neighbour’s phone. But then the police were useless. They had done very little for me before. Once a police officer told me to behave like an Indian woman; I was no longer in Canada. Most of the top police officers were close friends of Raj’s family. They also had a close relationship with people in high places. Some of the officers felt sorry for me, but they couldn’t do anything. They feared for their jobs.

After continuing the kicking and punching for some time, Raj did the unimaginable—he urinated all over me. I looked up at this sick man and asked him why he didn’t just kill me. I called him as many names as I could possibly think of. I began to curse him and said I wished he had never been born. I received more punches and blows, but I continued to speak my mind. He beat me until he grew tired. I always knew when he was getting tired. He would begin to nurse his hands. He told me to get up and clean up the mess. Then I was allowed into the bedroom for the night, but I had to sleep on the floor.”

Sometimes it’s good to get a glimpse of what a real hell looks like. It reminds me, for one, to work harder at carving out heaven here on earth on behalf of women like Kamal.

Book Launch:
Kamal will launch her book tomorrow on Saturday, November 28 at 2pm at Grace Point church, 3487 King George Hwy, South Surrey. Copies will be available for purchase.

You can buy a copy of Kamal’s book online at blackandbluesari.com

Further resources: